I may has well have lit a roman candle. After trying again and again to change the subject, I finally said I want to go home. He saw me and approached to hug me and after he did, he licked my face. We order at the counter and go to sit down. Turns out my potential online date murdered his father when he was a teenager, and as a cover up, had concocting a complicated plot involving foreign assassins.
At the end of dinner he said we'll split the check down the middle. I was a few beers and a couple hours in when I decided to call it a night. I have to take some ownership of this bad date — I should have been way less polite and more assertive about my own needs. He seemed rather needy, but not awful. But I still have her pillow and book. Things took a turn for the the what-the-fuck when he started asking to touch my butt and for me to touch his dick through his pants. So I meet him at a bar, and he proceeds to be very very silent.
Well, one thing led to another, and there we were sitting across the table from one another at dinner. Needless to say, I never saw him again. Some make fine Italian cuisine. I still have the red velvet box. He takes the other stool, and then puuuulllllls my stool closer, right between his knees. She was single, and I was curious how the whole thing worked.
He starts telling me how he is a failed Elvis impersonator and how I should look him up, that he abandoned his 4 kids back in Utah with their mom, he just found out his girlfriend cheated on him the previous month, and that he draws comics of cats puking—would I like to see over our appetizers? Luckily, the rain let up eventually, and he showed me how to get to the subway, and I escaped, my heart pounding. The atmosphere and food were great! The bar we were at was having a trivia night; since we entered a round late, we came in last place. . Maybe this was a good date for him. For example, a friend would post about making dinner with their significant other, and he would chime in and say something like at least Lauren knows how to chop an onion without calling her mom. Your dating advice is spot on and your recommendations are not only wise, but they are also hilarious! We have many more first date and internet dating horror stories to come.
I even got to the restaurant early. I was working at a research center for war and genocide at the time, and I guess enough people at the office thought I'd be super depressing, so they made an office pool, March Madness-style. It lasted an hour, but was done forty minutes in when she asked if my parents were disappointed in me. Eventually, his life led him to eharmony and to me. I had to pay, as he'd conveniently forgotten his wallet, and then as he couldn't barely stand let alone walk, I ended up giving him a lift to the station.
And still not even so much as a kiss. He and I exchanged e-mail addresses after the first date. Between bites of whatever I was eating, she was bragging about how she had chronic kidney stone issues and how tough she was for being able to pass them without even flinching nowadays. After an hour or so of our dinner date, we decided to walk to a nearby movie theater. Internet dating and just dating in general could be disastrous if you are not prepared. After some thought, decided maybe friendship and see what would happen.
She was not only visibly displeased with our little arrangement but went out of her way to make this as evident as possible: she was pissy, sour, and completely uninterested in making the best of this awful situation, something I was trying and failing oh so miserably to do. He got married 4 months later, and then had a kid. The upside was that he was a clerk at a video store I frequented, so I got some free rentals out of the deal. So I go to check out his profile, and am smacked in the face by his photo. Then he takes me to a little burger joint. So the next time you go on a seriously awful date you'll know that you're not alone.
Of course, police eventually discovered it was my date who killed his father, he was tried for first degree murder, and defended by the attorney who went on to defend one or both of the Menendez brothers hence his mention in the article. We agree on a restaurant in another, distant-ish part of the city, and dude decides he wants to walk there instead of taking the subway. I think, what the hell, I have done one or two insecure things in my time, I should give the guy a break. I went into the bathroom, called my roommate, and had her come get me. Take some time to read our guided for spotting the dating losers, serial daters and weirdoes early on, so you can stop wasting your time on con artists, liars and cheaters.